Our journey through adoption.

We don’t do much at the lake, which is the beauty of it. We eat, sleep, wakeboard, jetski, play cards and be lazy! It was a great weekend, we feel very blessed to be so close to Wendi and Ryan and we love spending time with them not only as family but as our closest friends as well. It’s hard to find people you can “stand” to be around 24 hours a day, a few days in a row and feel completely comfortable around. Friday we got on the boat first thing and Darrel got to wakeboard for the first time in almost a year and a half, with his knee surgery and our boat breaking down its been too long. He was so happy and overall his knee did good ( a little sore) but he didn’t complain too much. We have a “tradition” at night too, come back, make dinner, take showers and then right before the sun is going to go down go on a float in the boat, we did that all 3 nights, last night was really fun though because we waited until it was completey dark to go out…so it was a great weekend! Boat ran great, we get to get back into our “normal” summers of being on the lake, we have many more trips planned this summer, to make up for all the time we’ve lost, so its going to be a busy summer…but all of us were saying it was “great to be back on the water”….

Darrel and I also had to make nightly runs to the payphone to check in, no calls obviously…we were talking about how neat it will be to have a baby to take with us to the lake. We are going to start them as young as possible with camping and boating etc., because we both have good memories of being on the lake growing up…we want our child to have those same memories as well!

 

Tomorrow after I get off work (Darrel is picking me up from work), we are off to the lake for a 3 day trip! Darrel is beyond excited and I am really excited to get away, we haven’t been on a trip anywhere in a very longggg time.

Its a little weird going on our first trip after being put on the adoption list, only because our cell phones have no service where we are going so if by the Lord’s will this was the weekend we could get that call, we won’t receive it. So what we are doing is buying a calling card (there is a payphone there) so we can call and check our messages. Never had to think about things like this before..

Princess had her eye surgery yesterday, she was a little groggy all night, which actually was kind of cute because she was extra cuddly but at the same time, I want her to feel good, so it was sad too. Wake was really worried yesterday when I got home, they know when I get home and usually they won’t bark, but Wake started “calling” for me so I went out there and he had a worried look in his eyes, so I took him on a walk and just played extra with him until Princess got home.

 So thats that, I hope all of you have a great Memorial day weekend, please pray our boat works good for us this weekend and I will check back in when we return!

The weather is once again beautiful, so this morning we woke up, opened all our windows to let some fresh air in, Darrel is doing yardwork and I cleaned up a little and this afternoon we are going to pack up our dogs, the boat and head out to the lake for a few hours. The weekends go by too fast…

Our “doobers” dogs have been so happy, Ryan is a rep for a dog food and so we are using the product he sells and we have seen a big change in their weight, plus we have been taking them on long walks every night, we can tell they are both happier and healthier. Poor Princess has a cyst in her eye so this Wednesday she has to be put under and it will be removed…they are my babies so when things like this come up its hard on me, I always make Darrel take them because I will cry. But the vet. said its not serious, just may come back…and I think we would pay any amount of money that we could to keep our dogs healthy, but we are hoping and praying the cyst will not come back because the surgery is not cheap…

I cannot believe that the school year is ending, my mentor teacher and I were talking about what our plans are for the last day of school (May 31st) with each of our classes, and I started to get teary eyed thinking about saying goodbye to my students, and then she started to get teary eyed, and here we both were teary eyed just sitting in our class..she has been teaching for over 18 years and she said that it is not easy saying goodbye…as a teacher I have grown so attached to my students, I love each of them and they understand in some ways what this means so the other day one of my little boys gave me a painting with two hearts on it and it said I love you on it and he said I painted this for you because I’m going to miss you…and the are all getting a little more “concerned” about moving onto 1st grade…because they feel “safe” in our class, with their friends, with me, so the thought of moving is a big deal to them. I already warned Darrel that I’m going to be a wreck, so he is prepared.

No new, news on adoption…some days are harder than others, some days I’m okay and some days I’m hoping and praying that it will be “the day” we get a call, really there is nothing we can do though, but wait, so that is kind of a weird feeling…just the feeling that one day we will get that call, that will change our lives, but until then its life as usual, our lives will literally change with a phone call though, weird but exciting! There is just not much more we can do to “prepare” we are ready…so we just ask the Lord to continue to give us patience as He so perfectly plans out our lives…

It’s been so beautiful here in Idaho for the last few days, warm, breezy, very pretty. We picked up our boat, and next weekend we are taking it out for the first time in a year, for a 3 day trip to the lake. Darrel is so excited, he absolutely loves his boat and lake trips (he is the happiest man alive when he is on that water), he jokingly says “everything will go before that boat…” I’m excited for him and excited to be out on the water again. My favorite part of our lake trips are right before the sun is going down, taking a cruise in the boat. I love it! I really enjoy sleeping at the lake too, taking naps mid-afternoon and usually we are beat from the heat, and just going all day that I sleep like a baby at night too You have to know by know, I love to sleep :)  The other day my Mom and I were saying how blessed we feel to be living in each of our states. My parents are loving Mississippi, they live on a couple acres in a foresty area with a creek running behind their home, so there are lots of animals, and she said they just sit out on the back deck and feel like they are on vacation…we feel blessed to live in Idaho too, although our city is slowly starting to grow (darn californians), we still hear horses naying, roosters in the mornings, we still have a ton of open land, and its absolutely quiet at night, you can hear only the sounds of frogs…its so still…sooo we are just going to take advantage of every oppurtunity to be outside this summer, we forgot how long winter can be…but we love the seasons here, we experience all of them, so I know once Fall comes, then Winter, we will be ready for them. Tonight Wendi and I went bathin suit shopping I dread it, I really, really do…but Wendi said “ya know, who cares were married now..haha” so I bought a really comfortable bathing suit, I’m sure Darrel will not love it, but it is comfortable, haha. As far as adoption, no new updates to tell you, sorry…just continue to pray!

Last night my sister and Ryan surprised me with a dinner party with all our friends for my birthday! It was so neat and made me feel so special to walk in with the house and the backyard all decorated. She and Shannan had decorated the dining table really pretty with fresh flowers, candles, place settings with everyone’s names, and pretty flower napkin holders. They made goober chicken, mashed potatoes, bread, and for dessert chocolate covered strawberries and chocalate cake. And then outside they decorated the trees with lights and hanging lattern lights, with more fresh flowers, balloons, and candles. It was REALLY, REALLY pretty, and meant so much to know they had worked so hard to make it perfect for me. It was a really blessed night. I love my sister with all my heart, she means everything to me, she has a kind, patient, easy going, fun spirit …I’m very blessed with the family and friends the Lord has placed in my life.  I’ve felt like the most special person over the last couple days because everyone has put so much effort into making my birthday perfect. Last night was the first time I’ve ever been surprised too, it was fun! So I take my words back, that I’m not a BIG birthday person, I guess I really do like to feel celebrated. This has been an awesome last couple days. Thank you so much Wendi for last night, you are my best friend, and I’m so blessed to have you as my sister, I could not have asked for anyone more precious than you to call my sister. Thank you Ryan for taking such good care of Wendi, and thank you for making the grass look perfect :) Thank you Shannan, you are so dedicated to your friends and the love of the Lord shines through in your words and actions, it meant alot to know you helped Wendi to make last night perfect.

Today I am 28 years old….I’m not a BIG birthday person, I think because I don’t like attention being focused on me, but today I have already received a ton of text from everyone saying “Happy Birithday” along with a few emails, so that is what makes me happy, just to know people remember and care. Last night we took our dogs on a walk, and as we were walking I was telling Darrel that my students were asking me yesterday if I was going to have a party (for them) for my birthday (they don’t get it yet, haha) and they asked “are you bringing cupcakes?” I had told them no, we will do something fun but no party and no cupcakes, sorry.  WELL today as I was in gym with them, in walks Darrel with a bunch of cupcakes and a huge smile on his face…it is one of the sweetest most thougtful things he has ever done for me…it made my heart melt and it is the BEST birthday present I  have ever received from him! It just shows his heart and his thoughtfulness….my kids were SO excited to meet him and eat the cupcakes. Because many of my kids come from not good homes, the little tiny things mean the world to them, they get so excited over stickers, over food (some of them only get 1 meal a day), over the smallest things and I always tell Darrel I wish I could do more for them, I love to buy them little gifts and I am happiest when I get to do these things for them, and so when I called to thank him for doing that today he said “it made me sad when you told me the kids asked for cupcakes and weren’t going to get them…so that is why I brought them…and what matters most to me is that you are happy…” he knows I love my students and that when they are happy, I’m happy. He always says that to me “all that matters to me is that you are happy”…he made my day with the thought he put into doing that…he is so amazing, I know I write that a lot, but he really, really is!

Update: and the day keeps on getting better and better…received beautiful flowers, heard two little angels singing Happy Birthday to me, Emma and Allie, received a xoxoxo and picture of Carter, had a delicious dinner that Darrel made, texts keep coming in, emails too, and we are heading out on a bike ride, we both took off tomorrow so we get to sleep in and have fun tomorrow…beautiful birthday!

 

No new news about adoption…just praying and waiting! Today I received the Stepping Stones magazine I look forward to so much. Its neat because although we have “moved” on in a way from our infertility to pursue adoption, its still something that we cope with. This magazine is a neat support to have..and they always have neat poems and stories to remind me that the Lord is working in my life..the first question on the front page says “Raise your hand if you saw the commericial “having a baby changes everything”…Now raise your hand if you suppressed a little snort followed by the thought, Not having a baby changes everything too.

When I see those commericials I always cry…especially the one of the Mom giving her baby boy a bath in the sink and it says something like…”you always thought the love of your life would be tall, dark and handsome, who would have ever thought he would be short and bald..” I definately feel like Darrel and I understand how much a baby is going to change our lives, in all kinds of HUGE ways but  I don’t think anyone can be totally be prepared in what kind of ways they will be changed until there is this little, innocent, completey dependant person looking at you to do everything for them! In watching family and friends have their children we cant help but knowtice how our lifes will change, of course there is an undescribable love for your baby, but sometimes just sometimes Darrel and I will come home from a busy, kaotic night will all the kiddos and say “oh my gosh, are we ready for that…” then the second later we will say “oh my gosh we are so ready to be parents” …we know once the responsibility of being a parent happens, there is no turning back, there are no more quiet moments, there are diapers to be changed, feedings every couple hours, sick babies, there will be tantrums, testing your limits, there will be non stop play time, not stop attention needed from this little person, they will go to school and need help with homework..the list goes on and on and on, but we cannot wait for this. The other night we dropped by dinner for Jimmy and Mindy and Darrel just sat there with Carter lying on his chest for about an hour and a half, I could tell he was completely in love with him…its so neat seeing Darrel with a baby on his chest, Darrel is hardly ever quiet, but he was just quietly sitting there, just enjoying Carter. Its neat to see grown men just completely melt with babies…Darrel is going to be an amazing father…I dream about the day when I look over and see our adopted baby lying on his chest…I think Darrel is even more ready than me, I’m so ready but he is READY, ready…when we come home from those crazy nights with all the girls screaming and playing around I say “awwwhh” peace and quiet and usually Darrel will say “I can’t wait for that, I’m over the peace and quiet…” me too…just know once the baby comes, having this baby will change everything!

I asked our adoption agency how many couples are on the list and there are 24…seems like alot to me. But we aren’t in a order so the birthparents will come in and ask to see everyone’s profiles and can choose any of the 24 couples on the list. I also had a few questions about what happens after the baby is born, because usually a baby stays with its Mom in the hospital while she is recovering but there is no other reason for the baby to be there unless there is something medically that they need to stay, so I guess 24 hours after the baby is born we would be able to take them home. So that is the new news, I’ve learned. Alot of you have asked how many couples there are…

 In a few days I turn 28 years old, oh my gosh, its kind of “scary” how fast life goes by, sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I graduated from high school, or got married, or moved to Idaho…time flies by. And this month is my last month of school, then all my students will be graduating to 1st grade. Yesterday I told them that I’m going to probably cry on our last day of school because I’m going to miss them, and then one of my little girls, got all teary eyed and tears started running down her cheeks and so I asked what was the matter and she said “I don’t want a new teacher, I want you to be my teacher…I love you Mrs. G”…it was so cute but sad too! They are all ready to move on now though, its been such a neat experience seeing them grow throughout this year, alot of them have come really far and it makes me proud, proud of them and proud of myself (not bragging or being conceited) but its a pretty awesome thing being a part of their learning experience and seeing your work “pay off”! I’m starting to study for the test I need to pass to continue to teach, obviously my heart is to be a Mom, but I definately know my heart is being a teacher too, so I know I will teach again next year if I pass the test and we don’t have a baby, the school has already offered me the position again…but if we do have our baby then I will teach again sometime in my life!

 

Where do I start? This morning as I was driving to work I just was thinking about where I think I would be right now if I didn’t have the Lord, carrying me through this life? I can’t even begin to imagine really, I do not understand how people live without Him? I was reading through a book the other day and it said everyone lives by faith to a certain extent, when you go to the dr. you trust him for your diagnosis, when the pharmacy fills your prescription you have faith that you will receive the right meds…etc. We choose what we will believe in. Some people choose to believe in themselves, government, some in evil, science, newspapers, in hard work, and some in God. All of those things mentioned above with the exception of God, have failed. He asks us to test Him in some areas of our lives, the 1 biggest area is finicially.  He tells us to give what is His and that He will bless us abundantly…that is huge for most people, its huge for Darrel and I, as we have learned more than ever since we’ve moved to Idaho that money does not “fall off trees” we were beyond blessed in California and yet we were careless and thoughtless in how we used the money the Lord had given us, and sometimes I think that we are being taught our lesson now, because the Lord allows for times of abundance to prepare us for times of drought, but we are learning and we are sooo far from perfect but we have  tested Him, and I can tell you that He provides exactly what we need to fufill His plans if you are seeking His plans…He has provided just enough money to pay for adoption, how you ask? I’m not sure where the money came from to be honest, but it came…whether it be an unexpected check from some sort of account, or a gift from others so we don’t have to spend “our” personal money to purchase things, its here and it exactly the amount we needed..it is how the Lord works. I still have times where I doubt, not in the Lord, but in the Lord’s timing…but I can look back at so many things that have happened and it feels so right to be right where I am right now, He always, always comes through at the perfect time. Even reading through my blog I’m reminded of how He has been working to get us through this adoption process, without Him I know we wouldn’t be here today, dreaming about the day we know the Lord has planned for us to meet our baby. We’ve talked about “what if” we were to get pregnant right now, would we still move forward in adoption, we absolutely would still continue to move forward in adoption because we truly believe that the Lord has a baby picked out for us. I just feel so peaceful, and so humbled that the Lord IS in control, I’m so flawed, I let Him down, I don’t always show His love to others, but yet He is doing amazing things for me. Wow!