Here it goes…
Monday, February 19th- The phone rang and I knew it was going to be Amy calling us to let us know how her doctor appointment had gone, when I answered the phone she said “Hi Julie, its Amy, I just wanted to call and let you know that the doctor is going to induce me tomorrow morning because I have high blood pressure…” I of course was so excited and asked her how she was feeling? “nervous but excited, I just want to see him…are you and Darrel going to drive up tonight to be here in the morning?” Uhm, let me talk to Darrel and see then I will call you back, sound good?” “yep, sounds good…” Is there anything you need Amy?” nope, just excited…after I got off the phone I called Darrel and said “Tomorrow is the day, Amy is being induced, we are going to meet our son tomorrow Darrel…tomorrow”…then I called my Mom..sister..and all of our friends to let everyone know the good news. In the meantime I was so nervous I didn’t even know what to do with myself? So I called Amy’s caseworker to ask what we should do, drive through the night to be there first thing in the morning, or wait until the morning and get up there in the afternoon…our biggest concern was wanting to give Amy and her family privacy during that time, but we also did want to be there if Amy wanted us to be there so we could support her. So she said let me call you back and call Amy to ask what she would like…about an hour later we got the call that Amy wanted us there…she wanted us there for support and reassurance. WOW, that made Darrel and I feel so awesome to know she wanted us there…so we got packed, ate our last dinner as a family of two at our center island (sloppy joe’s and tots), got packed up, picked up Wendi and got on the road. It was so neat driving up there knowing we were driving to FINALLY meet our son, it felt so surreal but so right. We drove straight thru and arrived at 2:30am. We stayed with Amy’s caseworker because we knew we were only going to be getting a couple hours of sleep before heading to the hospital…let me tell you…our last night without Landon was not quite what I envisioned in my head…we got to her house and I’m very alergic to cats so she had 1 room in the house she doesn’t let cats in…so I had to stay in that room for sure…well the other bed that was available was in the main living room and because she has a husband and a teenage son I didn’t want Wendi sleeping out in the open, so we decided Darrel would sleep on that sofa and Wendi and I would take the cat free room. After talking to her for awhile we all got ready for bed…the bed was tiny and the matress was too big for the frame so Wendi slept in by the wall and I had to sleep on the edge hanging on for dear life because the matress was hanging off the edges…then she warned us she couldn’t find one of her two cats so we may hear it walking around but it shouldn’t bother us…well Wendi and were completey giddy because of pure exhaustion so we stayed up laughing about random stuff…told her “this is NOT how I thought my last night would be…in a tiny bed hanging on for dear life with my sister…”finally we said we better get some rest so both of us were just about to fall asleep and then we heard the most terrifying sound ever, a cat screaming at the door…it was such a scary scream but we both just started laughing…it stopped so then we were just about to fall asleep again…then again the cat started screaming and pounding around…what is going on out there?…so I got up and opened the door…it was gone…okay..its gone please can we sleep now…again it started screaming and we hear the teenage son scream “shut up you stupid cat..”but it wouldn’t stop…so he got up and found it locked in a linen closet that was in between our bedroom and his…apparently she had made our bed and he went in the linen closet and got stuck…it was probaly around 3:30ish before we fell asleep…to be woken up early to get ready to go to the hospital…it was so nice of Amy’s caseworker to let us sleep there but I would have to say it was one of the most restless nights sleeps I thought I would ever have (that is until this little guy).
Tuesday, February 19th AM- Waking up in the morning knowing that Amy was being induced was so nerve wracking…while taking a shower I prayed over her. Over her spirit, her health, her body, her protection, her heart..just focused my entire prayer on her. I knew today would be the most bittersweet days of our lives…on our way to the hospital I felt sick to my stomach, nerves completely took over me…once we got to the hospital we met her grandmother in the waiting room…we hugged and cried together and then Amy asked us to go back to see her…I will remember seeing her laying there with the monitors hooked up to her…with her Aunt standing right by her side…hearing Landon’s heartbeat on the monitor…and just her smile forever. We went directly to her and gave her a huge hug and asked how she was feeling..”nervous, anxious…”. We talked for a little bit and could just tell that her Aunt was having a hard time with us in the room, not because she didn’t care for us but because she knew what the day was to hold…and it was alot to take in..so we left the room to give them time…we went into the waiting room where we met more of Amy’s family…her boyfriend…her Mom and her stepdad…to take a few steps back though, all I had prayed for was peace…a peace that that would surpass all understanding…so as soon as we met Amy’s Mom she came up to me and whispered in my ear as she was hugging me crying…”ever since Amy showed me your profile, I have had an overwhelming sense of peace that you guys are the perfect couple, she could not have chosen a better family for her son…” THANK YOU LORD, is what I felt in that instance…a sense of relief that He was telling me, SEE, all will be okay Julie, you prayed for peace and I’ve given it to her family…THANK YOU LORD…I knew from that point on that as hard as the next few days would be with all the different emotions that His peace was surrounding Amy, her family and us and it felt so perfectly right. After we met them more of her family started to come, her brother, her sister, grandpa, aunts and uncles, cousins… she had a HUGE support system of incrediable people there for her and again from the beginning of this process we have lifted up prayers to the Lord asking Him to place a birthmother in our path that had this support, most importantly for Amy but also so we could share with Landon how loved he is. THANK YOU LORD again for answered prayers. That day was the LONGEST day of our lives…I can easily say this… seating in the waiting room with her family and friends was neat…it was hard though because you could sense in their spirits, heaviness…and for us, we knew the sadness that they were feeling and it broke our hearts, there were many silent prayers being lifted up from us…and I’m sure many of them also…at around 3ish after Amy had been pushing for a long time, her grandmother came out and annouced that she was going to have to have a c-section…not what anyone wanted for Amy…they prepped her and then about an hour later her mom came out with tears strolling down her cheeks and a video camera in hand…this was the first time we would see our son…when we watched the video tape of him and first heard his cry…there just are NOT words to what those moments felt like…no words can express the joy, the love…the awe of what was in front of us…his cry was the most precious sound I will ever hear in my ears…he was beautiful…perfect…everything…a few minutes later Amy’s grandmother came out with more pictures for us to see of him…again just pure joy…and she showed her family the pictures…it is a sight that will forever be in my memories…the joy but sadness all mixed into one as they all lovingly looked on at Landon…it felt like eternity as we waited to be able to see Amy and Landon but finally…Amy’s grandmother came out…looked at us…and said “Are you ready to meet your son?”…
I will conintue this blog tomorrow (hopefully)…but just reflecting back on these days, the amount of love and support there was in that waiting room of family and friends for Amy was so touching…the peace that filled that room even though there was evident grief for what was to be…the Lord was absolutely in that room, filling His Holy Spirit on all of us…it was raw, real, heavy, light, sad, happy all in one, a mix of emotions filled each of us, but I feel we all knew we were all suppose to be there, connected in this journey together…
On a different note…today we received the call that as adoptive parents is the most freeing call ever…both Amy and the birthfather relinquished rights…Landon is our son forever!
Thank you Lord is just not enough…there are no words my Dear Precious Lord for me to express to You..to Amy…to anyone to show my heart…its full of joy, full of love, the fullest its ever been Lord…You have rescued us Lord, and made us complete…we thank You with all our hearts for all You have done and are about to do…we thank You Lord…
